## Ruth Kadiri says big weddings can pressure marriages - Nigerians are debating her point

For many Nigerian couples, getting married can mean more than simply saying “I do.”

There may be a traditional wedding, court ceremony, white wedding, engagement party, outfits, decorations, photography, food and a long guest list to think about.

Nollywood actress and filmmaker Ruth Kadiri believes all of that can create pressure that couples do not necessarily need.

In a video shared on Instagram and subsequently reported by Punch, Kadiri advised young people to reconsider the expectation that getting married must involve a large celebration.

“I do think that big weddings put pressure on couples,” she said. “It puts pressure on the marriage itself.”

Her comments have added another voice to an old Nigeria marriage talk: should couples spend heavily to celebrate one big day, or keep things simple and concentrate on the life that begins afterwards?

What Ruth Kadiri actually said

Kadiri's argument was largely about pressure.

According to Punch, she said the demands surrounding elaborate weddings can create emotional and mental strain, particularly when couples feel they must satisfy expectations from family members and society.

She questioned why two people could date happily for years but begin experiencing anxiety after the ceremonies surrounding marriage.

For Kadiri, the wedding itself can sometimes become part of that change.

She suggested a much simpler alternative: complete the necessary traditional and legal requirements, invite a small group of people, receive prayers and celebrate privately.

She also questioned why Nigerian couples can feel compelled to organise several different events -from engagements and traditional ceremonies to court and white weddings.

Her Ruth Kadiri wedding comment fits her own approach to marriage.

In an earlier interview reported by Punch in July 2025, Kadiri revealed that she invited only 50 people to her wedding.

She said the small ceremony was what she and her husband wanted and allowed them to avoid unnecessary drama around their relationship.

Why many Nigerians understand the argument

Kadiri's comments touch on something familiar in Nigerian wedding culture.

A wedding can involve expectations from several directions.

Couples may want a particular venue. Parents may have their own guest lists. Friends expect invitations. Different families may have cultural requirements. Then there are clothes, food, photography, entertainment and decorations.

Social media adds another layer.

Beautiful wedding photographs and videos are now shared widely online, creating a steady stream of elaborate ceremonies against which people can compare their own plans.

The pressure is not limited to the couple either.

Punch has previously reported on the financial demands guests can face from travel, accommodation, gifts, aso ebi and other expenses associated with attending Nigerian ceremonies. Financial experts quoted by the newspaper advised people against spending beyond their budgets simply to impress others.

That helps explain why the big weddings pressure conversation resonates beyond celebrity circles.

But a big wedding is not automatically a bad wedding

There is another side to the conversation.

Some couples genuinely want large celebrations and can comfortably afford them.

For those families, bringing hundreds of relatives and friends together may be an important cultural and emotional experience rather than an unwanted burden.

A large wedding also supports an entire events economy: caterers, decorators, photographers, makeup artists, fashion designers, musicians, DJs, venues and other workers earn income from celebrations.

And there is no evidence that the size of a wedding, by itself, determines whether a marriage succeeds or fails.

Kadiri's comments are best understood as her opinion and personal experience, not a rule guaranteeing that small weddings produce stronger marriages.

The more practical question is whether a couple is making its own decision or spending beyond its means because other people expect a spectacle.

Wedding day versus married life

Kadiri also extended her argument beyond weddings.

She criticised the broader pressure Nigerian families can place on young adults to succeed financially, particularly expectations that children should constantly provide money for relatives.

“Success means different things to different people,” she said.

That wider point helps explain her wedding argument.

A couple can spend months planning a celebration that lasts a day, but the financial and emotional responsibilities of marriage continue long after the decorations have been removed.

Punch relationship columnist Elizabeth Badejo recently made a related point, warning that allowing society's financial and material expectations to become the standard for a marriage can create tension between spouses.

That does not mean Nigerians need to abandon big weddings.

It means the size of the celebration should ideally match what the couple wants and can reasonably manage.

For some, that could mean hundreds of guests in a decorated hall.

For others, it might be 30 or 50 people, a court ceremony, close family and something to eat afterwards.

Kadiri clearly prefers the second option.

And behind all the online debate, her message is fairly simple: the wedding should not become a bigger burden than the marriage it is supposed to celebrate.