8 Regrets Older People Often Share, and How to Avoid Them While You're Young

The choices you make today can shape the life you live tomorrow. Here are eight common regrets worth learning from before time passes you by.

Many people spend their younger years believing there will always be another opportunity to save money, pursue a dream, spend time with loved ones or take better care of their health. Then responsibilities increase, circumstances change, and some opportunities become harder to pursue.

Regret is a common part of looking back on life. A systematic review of research on life regrets found that education, career, family, relationships, health and finances are among the areas people frequently reflect on when considering choices they wish they had made differently.

In a talk, Dr. Emmanuel Olumide shared a list of regrets he said he identified through conversations with people aged 70 and above. His observations offer a useful starting point for younger people who want to make more intentional decisions.

Although everyone's circumstances are different, these eight lessons are worth considering while there is still time to make changes.

1. Not Setting Clear Goals Early Enough

Without clear goals, it is easy to spend years reacting to circumstances rather than deliberately building the life you want. You may stay in an unfulfilling job, postpone learning a skill or keep putting off a business idea without taking any meaningful steps towards it.

Setting goals does not mean having your entire life figured out at 20 or 25. It means having a direction and being willing to adjust as you learn more about yourself.

How to avoid this regret: Write down what you want to achieve in the next year, three years and five years. Your goals might include completing a qualification, building a business, improving your finances or developing a professional skill.

Break each goal into small, measurable actions. If you want to start a business, for example, begin by researching your market, learning the necessary skills and saving a small amount towards startup costs.

Review your progress regularly. You do not need a perfect plan; you need a starting point.

2. Poor Money Management and Delayed Saving

Money can become a major source of stress when people reach later stages of life without savings or a plan for unexpected expenses. Earning more does not automatically solve this problem if spending increases just as quickly.

Research on financial regret has repeatedly identified insufficient saving as an important concern among older adults.

How to avoid this regret: Start saving consistently, even if your income is modest. Set aside a manageable amount whenever you receive money instead of waiting to see what remains at the end of the month.

In Nigeria, this might mean separating money for essentials, savings, business expenses and personal spending. Build an emergency fund gradually so that an unexpected bill does not immediately force you into debt.

Also, learn the difference between assets and depreciating purchases. An asset can generate income or retain value, depending on what you buy and its circumstances. A depreciating item, such as a new phone or car, generally loses value over time.

This does not mean every purchase that loses value is a mistake. It means you should balance enjoyment and convenience with investments in your future. Research any investment carefully, understand its risks and avoid schemes promising guaranteed, unusually high returns.

If you are in a season of higher earnings, consider using part of that income to build savings, acquire useful skills or invest prudently rather than increasing your lifestyle expenses permanently.

3. Neglecting Physical Health

When young, it is easy to take energy, mobility and physical strength for granted. Long working hours, inadequate sleep, poor eating habits and a lack of exercise can become normal routines until their effects begin to show.

Good health cannot be guaranteed, regardless of how carefully someone lives. However, everyday habits can help support long-term well-being.

The "World Health Organization" recommends that adults aged 18–64 aim for at least 150 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity each week, alongside muscle-strengthening activities on two or more days.

How to avoid this regret: Make movement part of your routine. Walk regularly, exercise in ways that suit your ability, eat a balanced diet and maintain a consistent sleep schedule.

Do not ignore persistent symptoms or postpone appropriate medical care because you feel too busy. Where possible, attend recommended health checks and seek professional advice when something feels wrong.

Taking care of your health is not a distraction from building your future. It is part of building one you can enjoy.

4. Spending Too Little Time With Family

Career ambitions, financial pressures and personal responsibilities can consume so much time that family relationships receive attention only when something goes wrong.

People may assume that parents, siblings, partners and children will always be available. But circumstances change, people grow older, and some opportunities to create memories cannot be recovered.

Research on life regrets has repeatedly identified relationships and family as important areas of reflection. Sometimes, the regret is not about a major argument but about the ordinary conversations, visits and shared moments that never happened.

How to avoid this regret: Make time for the people who matter to you. Call your parents, check on relatives, eat together when possible and be present during important family moments.

If work keeps you busy, schedule calls or visits rather than relying on the vague intention to reach out later. You do not need expensive gifts or elaborate outings to show that you care. Consistency and genuine attention often matter more.

5. Failing to Plan a Career or Develop Useful Skills

A job can provide income without necessarily preparing someone for the future. Remaining in the same position without learning, exploring opportunities or developing relevant skills may limit career growth.

On the other hand, changing careers repeatedly without understanding your interests, strengths or financial needs can create its own difficulties.

The aim is not to have one career path for life. It is to make deliberate decisions about how you earn a living and how your abilities can develop.

How to avoid this regret: Identify skills that are valuable in your chosen field and invest time in learning them. These could include communication, digital skills, project management, sales, technical expertise or professional qualifications.

Build a portfolio of your work, seek feedback and connect with people who have experience in your industry. If you are unsure about a career direction, speak to professionals, take short courses or try a small project before making a major commitment.

Do not measure your progress only by job titles or salaries. Consider whether your work is helping you develop abilities, financial stability and opportunities for the future.

6. Postponing Education and Personal Development

Education does not end when someone leaves school. Some people regret not taking their studies seriously, while others wish they had pursued a different field or developed skills that could have opened more doors.

Formal education can be valuable, but learning is not limited to university degrees. Practical experience, apprenticeships, professional training and independent study can also create opportunities.

How to avoid this regret: Take your learning seriously, regardless of your current educational level. If you are in school, develop good study habits and seek help when you struggle.

If formal education is not financially possible right now, explore affordable courses, books, mentorship and practical training. Learn skills that solve real problems and practise them consistently.

You do not have to learn everything at once. Choose one useful skill and give yourself a realistic period to improve.

7. Letting Fear Prevent You From Taking Opportunities

Fear of failure, criticism or embarrassment can stop people from pursuing meaningful opportunities. Someone may avoid applying for a job, launching a project, expressing interest in a person or travelling somewhere new because success is uncertain.

Not every risk is worth taking, and caution is sometimes necessary. However, avoiding every possibility of failure can mean missing opportunities for growth.

How to avoid this regret: Learn to distinguish between reckless decisions and calculated risks. Research your options, consider the possible consequences and prepare as much as you reasonably can.

If you want to start a business, test your idea on a small scale before committing all your savings. If you want a new job, improve your CV and apply while maintaining your current income where possible.

Accept that some attempts will not work. A failed attempt can still provide useful experience, while an opportunity you never explore may leave you wondering what could have happened.

8. Taking Relationships and Personal Happiness for Granted

It is possible to become so focused on achievement that life turns into a continuous pursuit of the next milestone. You may postpone hobbies, friendships, rest and experiences until you have more money, a better job or fewer responsibilities.

Unfortunately, there is no guarantee that life will eventually become completely free of demands.

Meaningful relationships also require attention. Unresolved disagreements, neglected friendships and the reluctance to apologise can create distance over time.

How to avoid this regret: Make room for joy alongside responsibility. Maintain friendships, develop hobbies, explore interests and allow yourself to enjoy experiences that fit your circumstances.

Learn to communicate honestly, apologise when you are wrong and set healthy boundaries with people who repeatedly harm you. Not every relationship can or should be preserved, but the relationships that matter deserve care.

You do not need to wait until you are wealthy to appreciate your life. Small experiences, genuine connections and moments of rest can have value now.

The Bottom Line: Start Before You Feel Ready

The biggest lesson from these regrets is that many important things in life require attention before they become urgent. Saving money, caring for your health, developing useful skills and maintaining relationships are easier to prioritise when they become habits rather than last-minute attempts to correct years of neglect.

You do not need to have everything figured out while you are young. Your plans may change, unexpected challenges may arise, and some decisions will not turn out as you hoped.

What matters is being intentional about the choices available to you today.

One useful question to ask yourself is this: If my life continues in its current direction for the next ten years, will I be happy with where I end up?

If the answer is no, you do not have to change everything overnight. Choose one area, take one practical step and build from there.

The future is not entirely within your control, but the habits you develop today can influence the opportunities you have tomorrow.